And still nothing feels quite as real as it should
Or something like that
Is that what he said
Remarkable, still, just how much you lose hold of
When you’re locked inside of your head
You start losing your grip
As the ground starts to slip
To the skyline as onward you trudge
And the pavement reclaims
Every inch of its right
To the maggots, the mud, and the sludge
If rain is God crying and tree rings tell stories
I guess we forgot them and He feels the same
The air still feels fuzzy and nothing is real
But if my nothing’s real then there’s no one to blame
Well, you chose this lifetime to stay inside
It’s not my fault if it tastes like sulfur and cyanide
Long drives to nowhere, the Illinois border
The million others still lost and not found
Is this really worth it, don’t know if it’s worth
Staying up til they put me back into the ground
But dear God I’m trying
At least once or a little
Dear God, I tried and there was a tree…
I’m learning, or growing, or one of those things
People say they do when they’re not sure who they are
While it’s still hard to say that I love you
I love you like I love the moon and the stars
March 22, 2022